One of the things they told us at training camp is to not have any
expectations while on the mission field, because my expectations will most
likely not be met. It was pretty much
impossible not to have any because from the moment I had gotten accepted to
come to Swaziland I had expectations. For one, I was expecting to live in a mud/clay hut with no gas and
electricity. I live in a concrete
building with gas, electricity, bunk beds, and refrigerator. I was also expecting to be around a lot of
Swazi people in sort of a village-type setting. My team and I share a homestead with only 3 Swazi people. A homestead is pretty much a piece of
property where the people that live there are self-sufficient. There are a bunch of chickens, goats, and
cows that roam around here. To do any
real people-mingling we have to walk about a half mile to the nearest
church. So, basically not at all at what
I was expecting. I guess the people at
training camp knew what they were talking about.
Something
else I was expecting was to be incredibly close to the Lord the whole time I
was here. Sort of like, just because I
come all the way here on a mission trip God is going to miraculously make me on
fire for Him as soon as I took my first step onto African soil. Once again, not the case at all. To be completely honest, I’ve been finding it
extremely difficult to have any intimate time with the Lord. Yes, I read my Bible and participate in
worship, but to actually feel his presence and enjoy who he is has been a
challenge for me. It’s a little hard to
explain. Maybe you know where I’m coming
from. The great thing is that God knows exactly
how I’m feeling and exactly where I’m at with my walk with him, and I know He
will meet me where I am. I find that
comforting.
Another
thing God has been revealing to me is my authority in the spiritual and
physical realms. Meaning, casting away
evil spirits, healing people, etc. Jesus
tells us that we have authority just like he did. He lives in us so shouldn’t we share that
same ability? I’ve also come to learn
that Jesus got his authority because he had an intimate relationship with His
Heavenly Father. If I struggle with having
an intimate realtionship with my Heavenly Father, does that mean my authority
is not as strong as it could be? That
then brings me to ask the Lord, “Can I have more of You?” The beauty of that question is that it’s
almost rhetorical. Rhetorical because
God then says, “Beloved, of course you can. Have as much as you want. I want to overwhelm you with my
presence. You can not comprehend what I
can do.”
Right
now I guess all I can do is wait on the Lord. I know God brought me here to Swaziland not only to love on the people
here, but to also experience Him in a way I never have before. I want to experience Him in a way that my
face glows with the presence of God, just like Moses’ did when he met with
God. To again do the opposite of what
they told us at training camp, I now have another expectation. I expect God to show up in a powerful
way. I think this will be an expectation
that will actually be met.
