Being back in
Swaziland is hard in some ways and easier in other ways. It is hard to be back
in Swaziland away from my family, especially when my Uncle Ed just passed away.
It is hard to be back in Swaziland and not be in Bulembu, with Auntie Xolile
and the precious children of house number ten. It is hard to spend my summer in
a familiar yet unfamiliar land where going into town can be extremely stressful
for fear of having your things stolen from your person. But it is also easy. It
is easy to find things to thank God for when you are so far away from American
consumerism. It is easy to thank God for meat and grin ear to ear when you are
able to eat some meat on Saturdays. It is easy to thank God for these beautiful
people who have hope but do not fully know where their hope comes from. Along
with that train of thought, it is easy to do ministry in certain aspects when
the people are so open to hearing about Jesus because they “know� him and love
him. I cannot believe I am putting this in writing but here it goes: I want
hard. I want to be stretched this summer. I do not want to go back to America
the same. I want my heart to break for those who do not know Jesus. I want to
desire for others to have Jesus, truly
desire it. I want to see God’s beauty in every face I encounter, while doing
ministry, while “relaxing� on Saturdays, while attempting to understand the
service at church on Sundays, while dreaming, while eating with my Swazi
family…I want to see God’s beauty in everything.
I want to take hold of the opportunities here in Swaziland without fear
weighing me down. I ask for these things and I know that God answers heartfelt
prayers and hears our cries.
