At 6:45 tomorrow morning, my heart is once again being scattered over the United States. I have come to terms with the fact that my heart will never be in one place. The Lord has called me to the nations. He has called me to love people. And you know what: it sucks to have your heart divided. It sucks to get so close to people and then have them taken away from you.
But I trust that His way is better than my own.
This has undoubtedly been the hardest summer of my life. I have been stretched, broken, put back together, and then broken again. But this has also been the most rewarding summer of my life. I have got to watch my team grow in who they are in the Lord. I have watched them love each other and the people of Swaziland fiercely. I have watched them laugh and I have watched them cry. When one of us has something to celebrate, we all have something to celebrate. When one of us is hurting, we all hurt. We have become a family, and even though it is hard to say goodbye to this chapter of my life, I wouldn’t trade it for anything these two months for anything.
I will miss the roosters crowing at 4:30AM and hearing my teammates groaning in their beds with anger.
I will miss playing werewolves at any given hour of the day.
I will miss people yelling “Mom!” from any part of the house and know they are calling me.
I will miss feeling like the Duggars at the grocery store.
I will miss lying in a pile of teammates snuggling together.
I will miss people asking me a million questions that I don’t know the answer to.
I will miss worshipping in a dark room, crying out to the Lord with everything we have.
I will miss my co-leader who makes me feel valued and trusted.
I will miss depending on the Lord for everything.
I will miss Taco Tuesday.
I will miss making fun of Christians (LOL).
I will miss hearing my African babies yell “Eish Madoda!” when they see me coming up the street.
I will miss hearing how my teammates days were.
I will miss the nighttime kitchen crew.
I will miss bananagrams.
I will miss Thomas telling everyone he hates them.
I will miss every random Swazi asking me “where’s April?!”.
I will miss Snow telling me how much he hates me, and then proceeding to hit me.
I will miss singing and dancing with Alex, while everyone else stares at us in disbelief.
I will miss Hannah eating all of our apples and butter…every day.
I will miss Jordan sticking his finger in my ears.
I will miss little Jordan throwing rocks at our chickens every morning.
Honestly, I’m going to miss it all; the good stuff and the hard stuff. But going home is good. The Lord called me to lead these goons. He called me to Swaziland. And now He is calling me home. He hasn’t failed me, and He isn’t leaving me.
See you tomorrow, America.
