The 20 or so teenage guys who you play soccer with every afternoon. They gave you a new name and accepted you even though your skin was white and you weren’t as good at soccer. How do you say goodbye to them?
The great grandmother who can’t walk a kilometer to the church because of her asthma. Your teammate bought her a hymnal so she could worship at home and she is forever thankful for it. How do you say goodbye to her?
The five year old who’s English is restricted to colors, numbers, and a few animals. He accidentally pooped on himself and you cleaned him up even though it was kind of disgusting, and he was so embarrassed. How do you say goodbye to him?
How can we possibly form words to say goodbye to these people who mean so much to us? How can we effectively communicate to this person how much they matter to us, how even simple acts of friendship mean so much, how God himself fiercely loves them.
We can’t say enough. We can’t do enough. Luckily, it isn’t about what we say or do. It’s about what God will do in these people’s lives. We were only here temporarily, but God is sticking around. It comes back to trust. God had us here for these three months for a reason. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the amount of time we spend here, but if the Holy Spirit is a part of it, does it really matter how long we were physically here? It only took Jesus three days to rise again….and that forever changed history.
We aren’t strong enough, and that’s okay because we are not the salvation of Swaziland–God is. When we concede this, it becomes so much easier to say goodbye, because we realize we’re leaving Swaziland in the loving hands of a perfect Dad. It doesn’t matter what we did or wanted to do, because it becomes about what GOD has done and is going to do.
That’s really what it comes down to: realizing it isn’t about us. It isn’t about what we want. It isn’t about how we feel. It’s about loving people and glorifying God. When I lay down my selfish desires to be known and loved, I find it’s so much easier to leave, because I know God has got this under control. Meanwhile, as I head back towards home, I can rest easy knowing God is for these people and this country. I’m reminded of something God spoke to me earlier on in this journey. A huge storm had just blown over and it left a beautiful rainbow in it’s wake. God spoke a few simple words to me that rooted deeply in my spirit:
This is MY country.
I LOVE these people.
I am NOT finished here.
