a 16 hour plane ride and a 5 hour bus ride later we arrived is timbutini a small desolate town in swaziland africa. our living conditions:a small hut with 7 bunk beds. our toliet: stinky/unsturdy tin sheds out back with no doors that just drop into a big hole. our showers: a bucket of water and a cup. our roommates: massive amounts of chickens, roosters, goats, dogs, and spiders all of which try to enter our room and make noise all night. our food: rice, pb&j, noodles, eggs, and oatmeal. our shock:priceless. our first days were hot, stinky, and overwhelming. its safe to say fear, homesickness, and how the heck am i going to do this for 3 and a half months hit me pretty quickly. but the first time i held an african child and felt their longing to be loved, suddenly my discomforts, fear, and 5 days without a shower seemed to meager. as our team bonds and we grow as sisters in christ (who i love and are my family) and as we begin to form bonds with these beautiful children starving for both food and attention, i feel god saying this is why you are here. im forced to rely 100% on gods strength every moment of the day. im not going to lie and say its easy and perfect-cause its not. its much harder and trying than i had expected and imagined, but i think thats what god wanted. he needed to push me so far past my breaking point that relying on him fully was the only way out. i dont believe this journey is going to be easy (its already proven otherwise)- but i do know it will be worth it. god is already stirring in my life. he is breaking my heart for what breaks his. even though i am filthy, literally. dirty, smelly and only get a rinse once or twice a week, i feel like the most beloved and beautiful daughter of god. the biggest change in my life so far (besideds making me so selfless and making me desire others needs and desires before my own) is this idea of advocacy. god has stamped this word on my heart and has given me this verse is provers 31:8-9 “speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensue justice for those being crushed. yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that the get justice.”
i realize now that i can take a stand. i can make a change. i am no longer blinded by own oblivion. i have seen with my own 2 eyes the injustices and depair of the world. i am no longer excused for my arrogance. i’ve seen. i’ve heard. i’ve touched. i’ve tasted. i am responsible. i will be there advocate.
i believe this is only the beginning of my fight. these next 3 months will push, challenge, and shake me. but i firmly believe in the end i will be more fully prepared to make an even greater change when i get home. this is only the beginning and i could be more excited for the road ahead. i only get internet maybe once a week so until then…. pray my heart is present and being more and more transformed as that of christs. amen!
